from Ant
Another example: a woman feels very strongly about a man. She is an extremely introspective person, and always attempts to analyze her thoughts as they surface to the forefront of her mind. She begins to analyze this strong feeling for this man. Is it Love? Is Love too quick an assumption to make?
Even if she can easily seperate physical desire from spiritual or emotional (which given, is easier for a woman to do than a man :D ), then it can still be extremely difficult. What if she has wanted Love for a long time, and thus feels as if she's subcounciously pushing herself to like this man further, so that the inevitable conclusion is Love?
So maybe she doesn't really like him at all, but simply wishes a serious relationship to grow in areas of her life she may not have grown before. Maybe he is but the vehicle - the tool, if you will - that she is using to accomplish her goal. Does this make it wrong? If he actually likes her as well, is it so wrong that his actual identity is secondary to her feeling this Love in the first place?
And then after all of that, how does one delineate between the two? You may think to yourself "Well, if Love is the result, the origin doesn't matter." But doesn't it? If not for him, at least for her, I would think.
To top it all off, you may be an Absolutist when it comes to the concepts of Desire and Love. You may say "If you're not sure about the situation, then it obviously isn't something serious and isn't Love." Are you sure? You'd be surprised at how many successful relationships over time haven't been successful due to the love of one person for another, but rather the love a person has for Love itself.
I'd like to hear thoughts, if you wish to share them. At which point does one decide whether a decision like that is right? When can one be sure that his desire is what he should go with, and to simply decide that what he wishes is what he should have?
At which point does pursuit of happiness come before reality - and does it ever?
Even if she can easily seperate physical desire from spiritual or emotional (which given, is easier for a woman to do than a man :D ), then it can still be extremely difficult. What if she has wanted Love for a long time, and thus feels as if she's subcounciously pushing herself to like this man further, so that the inevitable conclusion is Love?
So maybe she doesn't really like him at all, but simply wishes a serious relationship to grow in areas of her life she may not have grown before. Maybe he is but the vehicle - the tool, if you will - that she is using to accomplish her goal. Does this make it wrong? If he actually likes her as well, is it so wrong that his actual identity is secondary to her feeling this Love in the first place?
And then after all of that, how does one delineate between the two? You may think to yourself "Well, if Love is the result, the origin doesn't matter." But doesn't it? If not for him, at least for her, I would think.
To top it all off, you may be an Absolutist when it comes to the concepts of Desire and Love. You may say "If you're not sure about the situation, then it obviously isn't something serious and isn't Love." Are you sure? You'd be surprised at how many successful relationships over time haven't been successful due to the love of one person for another, but rather the love a person has for Love itself.
I'd like to hear thoughts, if you wish to share them. At which point does one decide whether a decision like that is right? When can one be sure that his desire is what he should go with, and to simply decide that what he wishes is what he should have?
At which point does pursuit of happiness come before reality - and does it ever?
posted by theemizz at 1:49 PM
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